This week has been a nice week. Minimal appointments (only one with a surgeon), some free time (unheard of!) and a feeling that things are moving in the right direction in regards to my care.
I’ve been at school a few times in the last week. It’s quite strange, because I’m only there a few days a week it feels more like an outing or workplace than how school used to feel. School used to feel like it was my whole life, and all my time was used up with it. School felt tight knit and a bubble. I’m keeping on top of my work (miracle) and am enjoying my courses. I wish a levels weren’t so pressured because they are really interesting in their own right.
For the book lovers out there, I’ve put a picture of my new bookcase below.
It’s what I spent my Christmas money on, so I now have a home for my notebooks and poetry books. Next door I have a small shelf of fiction. I just love it. It definitely shows that adulthood has firmly got a grip on me because I haven’t been so excited about anything in such a long time. Yep, excited about furniture…
I went to my first ever session of Barrow Writers on Saturday, a group run by Kim Moore. I have so many poems on the go now I’m feeling slightly overrun! They’ll all be dealt with and done in time, and it’s a wonderful position to be in. I had an amazing time in that retro community hall. I always feel like you reveal your soul when you read the things you’ve written out to a group. I always have to explain what has happened to me etc. but this group were totally chilled out about it, they took the anxiety out of revealing all. I was beyond exhausted, but also happy at the end of the day.
That actually leads me on to my next topic “Pacing”. I have seen a endriconologist who says that in his opinion I do not have chronic fatigue syndrome, but do have chronic fatigue. The difference between these is that a gentle increase in activity would just make me even more exhausted due to everything that goes on with my body, rather than having the effect of building me up. However, the management for this is called “Pacing” and is the same for both things. This means that if you know you’re having a busy morning, take the afternoon to rest, or if you’re having a busy day e.g. writing on Saturday take some time out on Sunday. If you don’t do this you end up in a loop of “Boom and Bust” – using all your energy on one day then having none for other days. (Note: I’m not a doctor or anything but this was what I was told to do by my consultant).
I went for a flying visit to Westwood books in Sedbergh last week. Their poetry section is incredible and reasonably priced. I got some collections which I am excited to read. They also had lots of wonderful present ideas. Worth a visit – even if you’re not making a trip to Sedbergh have a travel through!
I’ve had a fitting for a supportive office chair with foot plates (which I am very excited about) because sitting in a normal chair really pulls my stomach, especially when my legs dangle. It’s going to mean I can actually sit at my desk with reduced pain and just write. It’s something I have missed so very much. I should be getting it in the next couple of months.
I listened to another book on Audible this week, thanks to the Daily Deal I managed to get through The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion . I’m going to spoil this book because I’m so angry about it, so if you’d like to read it please stop here. The plot, until three quarters of the way through, was logical and very well thought out. However, Don (protagonist) is told by Rosie that he’d need to be totally different and become much more flexible in life (the reader is hinted to that he has some kind of undiagnosed autism or aspergers syndrome). So Don makes changes. He completely changes himself to be the person Rosie wants him. When he’s made these changes she finally allows herself to fall in love. The End. The problem I have with this book is that it suggests you should change for other people, particularly if you have something different about you such as a disability. It suggests that conforming is the only way to make someone want you. It upset me, because up until that stage it had been an incredible book which I thought had an amazing grasp on the complexities of emotions with such a condition. I guess not.