I am fairly certain these weeks are whipping around quicker and quicker. Maybe it’s just because they are very eventful and we never seem to be given a week off! I am sat in the car park of my hospital, waiting to see my cardiologist. I had a scan this morning and now we have a two and a half hour wait until my next appointment. Mum and dad are currently sat in the car munching M&S sandwiches, and I’m sat using my dongle to upload this from the car park!
I am exhausted, if I am honest, but quite content. We have had many meetings and appointments and now we are just waiting for some kind of let up. When I see people, I feel like I have no real news despite having had a hectic week. Illness is a strange little bubble to be caught up in.
A big life change decided upon in the last few weeks is that my mum has given up work to become my full time carer. My condition is making simple things difficult, and she is always there to sort me out. It has come as a relief to both of us, a burden has been lifted, because of this decision. My mum works hard for me, and she means that I can do things in precious spare time. She would say that any mother would do what she has done. I don’t agree. She goes above and beyond, gets up before me and goes to sleep after me. She’s a wonderful woman.
Secondly, due to increasing appointments about everything under the sun, I have given up my Sociology A level. We have worked out that by the time I am getting my second attempt operation, exams will be six weeks away. With nine hours of sociology exam including my extra time it was all too much. Especially with my memory problems and sleep deprivation. It feels another like another weight has been lifted – although I am quite devastated in my heart of hearts, as it is such an amazing subject. I made the decision because I would rather get one solid A level than two substandard ones that I can’t really use in the future.
I met up with a friend who I used to go to school with at the weekend. We went in to Lancaster and did a little shopping. She very naughtily (and kindly) bought me a gorgeous handbag which is very ‘me’ on every level. We talked about our lives and it was weird for me. I am still in the cocoon of high school, a place I have belonged for eight years. This year I leave. My friend has a full time job working as a receptionist and a long term boyfriend. She’s turned into a full blown adult in a matter of four or five months. We looked around TK Maxx (where we sometimes spend hours), the huge Waterstones at the top of town with the dodgy disabled access, some charity shops and Boots. We only had a few hours to catch up because I had to get back home, but it was quality time. Life moves so quickly it’s so nice to press pause and breathe.
I went to this month’s Verbalise in Kendal on Friday. I loved the atmosphere. It was in the Warehouse Café. I did one of the seven open mic slots available, in front of an audience of people I barely knew I sat on a chair and read a few poems, the audience were lovely and I had an amazing time. The spotlight acts were amazing.